Hello my divine friends!
I have been in a deep period of reflection for many weeks now with lots of changes occurring within. As we end the first quarter of 2019, I am witnessing the shaking up, “bustin’ loose” and “kicking out” energy in my life, that of my friends and family, my clients and the world at large. Many people are moving (getting “kicked out” of where they currently live), getting new jobs, changing relationships and finally dealing with all that lies beneath and obstructs shining your light full-out. Just having experienced the full moon Spring Equinox when the veil between the physical and spiritual worlds thins and a portal opens from our hearts to connect us to our Oneness with Source and our own Divinity, the Universe is giving us the opportunity to step into illuminated states of Freedom, Joy & Bliss. During the Equinox, the Earth’s pulse quickens and her magnetic field decreases, allowing for humanity’s individual and collective heart toric fields (think of the shape of a contact lens improving your sight). This creates the opportunity for a quantum leap of all life forms and living beings into the next phase of evolution. Powerful if challenging times.
Given this energy, there has been a strong exodus of folks fully returning to the light. I personally know 9 people who have crossed over since 2019 began. It is because of all this shaking up and loosening that I have been called to share with you my tribe that my beloved father, Poppy, crossed over January 9th after a long experience of living with Alzheimer’s and a host of other dis-eases. More precisely, as a part of moving through the transition of being on earth without my father also being here in the physical, I have been called to share our experience of how he finally was able to bust loose.
Knowing Poppy had rather low self-esteem and no spiritual practice, in the last few years of his life to help him lift his vibration, I talked to him a lot about all of the really good things he had done over the years and how many people, especially children, he had helped. I frequently told him stories about the impact he had on our neighborhood where he was sort of a community dad to those kids and families who needed support. Like when our neighborhood on the south-side of Chicago was block-busted and the population of the neighborhood rapidly became predominantly African-American prompting a significant rise in racist actions. Poppy began taking the baseball and basketball teams he coached to the Simpson’s ice cream shop after a game to support the first black family to open such a shop. Recently Eric Simpson who played on one of those teams over 45 years ago reached out to say how much it meant to his family that Poppy and our family welcomed them and supported their shop as they were otherwise really inundated with hate. When I told Poppy about this (not having remembered it myself), he said “Reeeally. I don’t remember that but it sure is nice to know I did that. It was the right thing to do. Wow – I did that! Way to go Pop!” And we laughed and held hands as he began to shift his inner critic. This was one of the many moments where we were just BEING – something we hadn’t really done until his “in-capacitation.” My “helping” him see himself in a better light also had the added benefit of prompting me to inquire into what low thoughts, ideas, patterns, paradigms and limiting beliefs I was still holding so it was a twofer, something anyone who has worked with me knows I love!
In the last year of his life, we talked a lot about the afterlife. I had introduced the subject earlier to help him know it was alright to let go whenever he was ready. Our first conversation took place in his assisted living apartment about 2 years before he passed and went like this: “Dad, you know it’s OK for you to let go whenever you are ready.” “Go? Go where? Where do you want me to go? You know I can’t walk anymore and I can’t go far in this chair – not even across the street to the Chinese joint.” Delicately I proceeded and pointed up as I said, “I’m talking about up there dad” As he slowly, very slowly, looked to the ceiling, he said, “what you want me to paint the ceiling??? Forget it – not gonna happen.” “No dad I am talking about going to heaven” “”Oh for God’s sake I am not doing that. Let’s talk about something else or watch some TV.” And that was the end of that conversation until he moved to a nursing home nearly a year to the day before he passed.
On my first visit with him at the nursing home, he leaned in to me and quietly said, “Babe, I am ready to get outta here.” I thought he was confused and forgetting that he now lived there but I knew it was better to inquire into it rather than to presume, so I asked, “Outta where dad?” “Outta here (gesturing all around him). I am getting pretty done with being here (and he gestured toward his body).” “Do you mean outta here on earth, outta this life.” “Now you’re talkin’ babe.” “OK well you can do that anytime you’re ready.” “That’s what you’ve been saying (wow he remembered!) but I just don’t have a clue how do to it.”
And there upon began an ongoing conversation about crossing over and allowing his soul to lift out of his crown at the top of his head. Many conversations where I reassured him God and all the angels and his mother and father and everyone would be waiting for him when he got to heaven and that he had nothing to worry about. We also had a series of soul-to-soul conversations during my meditations where he revealed he was still here (longer than every doctor predicted) because he felt he needed to suffer for “all the trouble he caused.” I thought he meant the”trouble” of all the care required presently but I asked to be sure and he said the trouble he “caused” at the age of 4 when he ran into the street to greet his father on the other side, was hit by a speeding car and nearly died. Deep heavy subconscious programming that my father carried for nearly 80 years. This prompted me to inquire what I was carrying way down deep and I encourage you to do the same.
And then we come to the last time I saw him in person. The first day my younger daughter Nicole was with me and thought to bring wireless speakers so she could play music for us from her computer. As a musician of course she would think of that but she also knew that music brought Poppy back and we had the most delightful 6 hour visit where he didn’t get anxious or try to leave not once! Near the end we started singing along to “As Time Goes By” after which we grabbed hands and he said “You still got it babe.” To which I replied, “So do you dad.” And he snorted and said “oh no I never did have it!” and we laughed and laughed and laughed. That’s the truth and light of my father (and you can see it in the video below).
The next day, I returned alone. This was the very last time I saw my father in person and the last meaningful conversation we had. Though I called him regularly from California on Sunday mornings, these phone calls were quick check-ins as in the last year of his life he didn’t much like to talk on the phone. Even though he didn’t prefer the phone, he was always delighted to hear my voice and hear briefly how “the kids” were doing. Once I asked him which kids he meant to see who he was talking about and he said “all of ’em whoever they are!” My father never met a kid he didn’t like. At the end of this last visit, I told him I would be flying back to California the next day but would return for a quick visit before heading to the airport. Poppy grabbed me and pulled my head to his shoulder, patting me on the back and said, “Don’t push it babe – let’s just leave it right here, You know I love you and I know you love me and we always have that right here (tapping his heart space), so let’s just say goodbye now and leave it right here.” And I cried as he held me because I knew it meant much more than that. I knew he was telling me he was going soon and that this was our final goodbye in the physical. And once again, just like that after all the years of Alzheimer’s impacting his brain, my father was right there with me being my dad, loving me and supporting me and giving me the chance to say goodbye while he comforted me. And of all the conversations I had with my father, this is the one I will cherish and remember forever – not to push it and to stay in your heart space where the love is. Thanks Pop for everything. I love you to the moon and back.
And to all of you my beautiful brilliant tribe I say, inquire within what is wanting, longing, to be released and let it go. What are you holding about yourself that isn’t the truth of you? Can you begin to see yourself as I do, as a magnificent divine light shining in the way that only you can, touching and positively impacting the world as only you can? This is my invitation to you my miraculous friend, allow yourself to see and experience your own brilliance and let go of everything that opposes that. And know that there’s no need to “push it” ~ all in divine timing with ease and grace. I AM here to help you along the way, just reach out.